– if you had known

a poem from

walking towards happiness

 if you had known
 the consequences to this
 you might have done
 things differently
 i do not understand
 but i want to believe in you
 hoping that all you did
 was thinking of my sisters and me
 i have been mad at you for so long 
 for abandoning me
 blaming you for everything 
 that happened to me
 blaming you for all those insults 
 taken on me
 blaming you for all those times 
 when people hurt me
 blaming you for not having 
 what a kid needs
 since the day you left 
 i lost everything
 when you left 
 my world fell apart
 you were my mother 
 my everything 
 all i had
 i needed you with me 
 to tell me 
 everything was going to be alright
 i needed your love 
 your company
 your hugs
 but instead
 all i had 
 was the silence of my room 
 between the walls
 i cannot remember 
 why you left me behind
 what did i do wrong
 for you to walk out of my life
 so many times i thought 
 i was not worthy to be alive
 if my own mother left me 
 who would want 
 the burden she had 
 today as i try to find forgiveness 
 being broken inside
 i find myself full of resentment 
 and i hate you for that
 i truly hope that saying ‘i forgive you’ 
 helps us both to move on
 to start all over 
 and to begin a life full of happiness 
 on our own
 i am no longer that child you left 
 hurt and alone
 i am who writes this to you 
 saying ‘thank you mom’
 thank you for the life you gave your son  
 i have learned to be me 
 to be strong
 and now i have reasons 
 to overcome the past and move on

#POETRYPOEMBOOKOFPOETRYPOETRYBOOKPOEMSPOETSPOET #sadpoetry #authorpoemsporngaywritergaypoetry #gaypoet #poetrylovers #gaywriter #gaybloggergayartistgaylover #writers #authors #poets

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